I just wanna sleep
I don’t remember exactly when I had trouble sleeping. I’ve said that it stems from my dad’s accident in 02. But it was before that. I can remember having to get up at a quarter til 6 in the morning to get to work by 8:00 am on a bus for a job I wasn’t supposed to be there for til 8:30 – without overtime pay for showing up a half an hour earlier. I would go to sleep around 1:30 or 2 in the morning. I wish I could sleep like a normal person. It’s just one more thing that bothers the hell out of me about myself. I just can’t sleep. I’ve tried to lay down early. I’ve tried not to take naps. Which is bad because I really do enjoy napping. I don’t know what it’s going to take to get me to sleep like a normal person. But I just wish I could.
I’m going to be year older on Friday. And I feel like…I’ve had enough. I want to change. But it’s so damn hard when it’s the same thing all around me. I worry about myself. And my family. And my friends. I want to change. Starting with sleep. I just want to sleep. Maybe start slow. 7 hours would be nice. But I’d settle for 6. So I ask you God. I will ask for your help. I need your help. I need sleep. I need a lot of things, but I think I need your help more.
